Hello America,

It is with great pleasure that I stand before you today, finally relieved of the burden of trying to pretend that I am something I am not. For the first time and now for all time, you will see me for who I really am. The good news is that the long-promised transparency is here. The bad news is, you aren’t going to like what you see.

I’m no longer speaking in keeping with the former parameters through which my performance and leadership were defined. As of this moment, the insignificance of your opinion of me, my administration or my leadership could not be greater. No longer must I maintain appearances or meet some arbitrary metrics as the leader of the free world. Let me be clear and dispense with that title now. I am the leader of the world and it is no longer free.

Finally, now that the need for stealth has been eliminated, I am at last able to come out and address you and speak to some of the issues that have been dogging me for the last five years. I do not seek your approval. Rather, for the sake of ultimate order you must understand that your situation is hopeless.

First of all, I’ll give a little backhanded congratulation to those of you who have been labeled as conspiracy theorists. You fought a noble and hard fight against overwhelming odds, power and influence. But in the end, the outcome was as it had to be.

I relish greatly the fact that I am able to stand here today, and with impunity declare that you were in fact right, and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do. I defeated you simply through the art of manipulation. You had the truth, but I had the power.

My cabal controls the judicial and legislative branches. Nobody would investigate or act on anything you exposed. Contrarily, many of them were my chief protectors, hiding what they all knew or assumed to be the truth under a flimsy veil of lies and threats. You learned the hard way that being right doesn’t necessarily triumph over true power.

On the issues of my citizenship, social security card, selective service, my Chicago law license, my educational records, my birth certificate, all of the issues which could have potentially exposed my fraudulent and highly questionable background, you were right. Communist icon Frank Marshal Davis wasn’t just a close friend and mentor, he was my real father.

I was raised a complete and total socialist from infancy. This whole Obama identity was a creation to exploit the Kenyan connection, which was fabricated to take advantage of my Muslim Brotherhood ties around the globe. A supposed family connection provided excellent cover for our covert political operations.

For those of you who still question my religious faith I have one question. How naïve can you be? Ignore the lies coming from my lips and judge me by my actions. I have never disputed my upbringing as a Muslim in Indonesia. My elementary school records prove it.

I simply attended this whacked out racist church and you gullible Christians believed that I had “seen the light.” We have different lights, you foolish Americans. My association with Jeremiah Wright’s church in Chicago was merely a tool through I was able to gain a political base, credibility, and access. In your heart you knew it all along. It was a necessary component of my reinsertion back into the American scene.

My outreach to what you label as “terror front groups”, the inclusion of the Muslim Brotherhood in my administration’s policy making and sensitive critical positions, the guiding principle of never publicly identifying Islamic terror for what it is, the rewriting of the military training manuals and materials to cleanse references to Islamic terror, the pro-jihadist rules of engagement, are all based upon my personal beliefs. It is immoral to depict the actions of my brothers in jihad as terrorists. They share the same commitment as I do to stand united against the American oppression.

As far as who I really work for, it will become abundantly clear in short order that the United States and other nations around the world are merely out-dated archaic remnants from a time when national sovereignty and borders were critical to a people’s survival and identity. Those characterizations of race, language, ethnicity and religion have no meaning in today’s dawning world of global government. Corporate and financial allegiance will be the defining identifiers of who a person is what where their loyalties lie.

I urge you to remember that we have invested an incredibly large amount of time and resources into the development and creation of a worldwide surveillance and enforcement grid. It is inescapable. You have no freedom from government monitoring and no privacy. If you are disloyal or subversive, we will know it. I urge you to act accordingly.

I have assembled, under the umbrella of Homeland Security, a national defense force to which no other nation in the world can muster a comparison or a challenge. There should be no doubt that the proper road to survival for each and every one of you is to take the path of least resistance. Those who are disruptive will be eliminated. You have seen my true nature in my previous battles with the American people and my enemies in government. I am not one to be taken lightly or to have my warnings ignored.

For the record, we will be conducting mandatory arms confiscations of all weapons, especially targeting handguns, shotguns, rifles and ammunition. We have reasonably complete data on gun ownership, and you can expect frequent, unannounced house to house searches and collections of firearms.

Those of you wishing to comply with the government mandate to turn your guns in to the authorities will have 72 hours to do so. Once that period of time has expired, any unauthorized possession of a firearm by a citizen will be dealt with harshly, including immediate termination of that offending individual and seizure of all of their personal property by the State. Prison sentences for complicit family members will also be prescribed.

As you know, all of your communications are monitored and controlled. The same is now true for your movements. Any travel beyond a ten mile radius of your registered address will require pre-approval by TSA, the Transportation Security Agency.

All Americans and residents are receiving tracking devices, which will be implanted on your persons in the form of under-the-skin microchips. These chips will be monitored by the Internal Revenue Service, utilizing the information stored and gathered through the NSA, Affordable Care Act and other means.

Any activities associated with privileges, such as driving or working, will be verified and authorized through the chip. Food purchases, rental payments, utility payments and all other transactions relating to your personal lives will also be controlled and monitored through the micro-chip.

Those of you who comply with the government mandated changes will be permitted to live in relative comfort. I can assure those of you who are disruptive that you will not have an easy time of it. Do not make the mistake of thinking that we are not serious or that we can be defeated through a simple uprising. The events of today are the result of decades of hard work and tireless planning. Our time is now. Our dominion over the world is inevitable. This is your new reality. If you wish to live, you have no choice but to accept it.

You would be wise to dismiss any feelings of resentment you may have towards me or my government. In your open society you had multiple opportunities on a daily basis to take action to prevent what has happened.

You chose leisure activities or greed-driven work schedules as the focus of attention rather than the actual danger that was starting you in the face.

Even when you recognized the danger you did nothing. At virtually every turn you waited for someone else to take action. Well, today, America, someone else did take action. That someone else was me.

SATIRE

This is my interpretation of how the events of the last five years will play out if this madness and criminality is allowed to continue. There is no doubting the objectives of this regime. The doubt is only in the level and the means of the response, if any, by the American people.

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