Harvard University Workshop Encourages Students to Stick Fingers Up Their Butts

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Harvard University is concerned that not enough people are shoving things up their asses. To combat this problem, they put together a sex-ed workshop called, “What What in the Butt: Anal Sex 101”.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A workshop at Harvard University on Tuesday night delved into the ins and outs of anal sex, with a presenter denouncing the “stupidity of abstinence” and the joys of “putting things in your butt,” according to a College Fix reporter who attended the event.

Of course, to control people it is necessary to get them degraded, not focus on high philosophical themes. Which explains why butt plugs are to become the new books at American higher intuitions of learning.

At one point the presenter leading the workshop passed out gloves and butt plugs to students as she offered instructions on anal relaxation techniques.

“Remember it’s all about practice, practice, practice,” said the presenter, Natasha, a representative of the Cambridge-based adult shop Good Vibrations.

Showing students a special medical-grade butt plug, she said “a local guy named Greg makes these—salt of the Earth!”

What serious academic intuition is going to encourage students to “practice, practice, practice” inserting butt plugs INSTEAD of “study, study, study”? Apparently, the answer to that is Harvard University.

You see that there is a hidden motive for encouraging students to play with their butts.

Noting “not all men have penises, not all women have vaginas,” she added “the butthole is the great sexual equalizer. All humans have a butthole.”

“Progressive” people shove things up their butts. They only have “enlightened” aka degrading sexual relations. It is not hard to imagine students adopting the mindset that inserting things into their butts is the fairest (communistic) way to experience their sexuality.

The crowd appeared enthusiastic, asking detailed questions about anal intercourse. One guy even showed up in a hotdog costume.

“There are two types of people in this world, people who watch anal porn and dirty fucking liars,” Natasha told students

She said she blames politics and religion for preventing young people from enjoying anal sex.

“You couldn’t be fucked in the ass in Texas until about 10 minutes ago,” she said.

What is wrong with all the people in Texas not voluntary bending over to penetrate their own butts upon command? No wonder leftist educators hate conservatives so much!

Because according to leftist anal sex expert, Natasha, abstinence “doesn’t make any fucking sense”. Her proof? “The population of priests and nuns are declining.” Maybe that has something to do the left’s attack on religion… what came first the chicken or the egg.

The better alternative, according to leftists, is teaching kids as young as possible how to embrace degradation and voluntarily start anally foundling themselves.

During the event, Natasha went over relaxation and tickling techniques. She also delved into how different actions stimulate the anatomy and how to avoid messy situations. At one point she held up anal beads and explained how to use them. She also discussed how porn gives inaccurate perceptions of sex.

Students were also allowed to take whatever they wanted from a bountiful amount of male and female condoms, sex toy cleaners, and literature from Planned Parenthood.

Now, who is ready to start forking out $48,949 dollars a year to have people tell you to literally go fuck yourself in the ass? Liberal academia at it’s finest!

Also as a side-not, never Google the dynamics of how anal sex is degrading. Even if a person has the most scholarly of intentions, such as the global attitudes towards anal penetration throughout societies and cultures, it will end badly.

However, after wading through many search results that greatly shocked by youthful sensibilities, I did find some unrelated interesting tidbits.

Continue to the next page to learn about the history of anal sex and pornography

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